B E PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.

Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed
suicide.

Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.

People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.

P ERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.

It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at present, and never will be in the future.

Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

R IGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake too.

TRUST

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB.Sorry , I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose
number it is."

Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".

学习（二）

任何生物，都具备学习能力，甚至包括了冰冷如霜的机器。
通常，学习方法可被归类为督导，无督导，及赏罚。

督导性学习，就像我手里拿着一颗青苹果，然后，我告诉你，这是一颗苹果，而且，它的颜色是青。过后，我再让你接触了一些不同大小的青苹果。从此以后，你便知道青苹果，及青色是为何物了。

无督导性学习，就像我手里拿着另一堆苹果，里头有红及青的，但我并没告诉你，那红色的物体是什么东西。但由于你已经知道苹果的洋貌了，所以，你猜那红色的，也属于苹果一类的。

赏罚性学习，就像我手里有一堆水果，我告诉你，如果你能辨认出那些是苹果，我便给你一分；反之，扣一分。经过几轮的尝试后，想必你对苹果的概念会加深吧！

人，从出生到老，都会经历这三种学习过程，很多时候，在不同的状况地下，不一样的方式将告诉你不一样的体验。

学习（一） 舍-得-成-长

学习，是我秉持的一种习惯。
学会争取，学会放手，学会释怀，学会珍惜，是我近十个月内所得到的，
这过程，是丰富多彩的，而这四个字，带出的是喜，悲交错的心情。。。
我无法透过文字，来描绘我当时，及过后的感觉，只有真正体会过，才能了解。
人的一生，总有很多交叉点，有些对我们无丝毫的影响，但有的，却是相反的，
但所选择的，并没有所谓的对与错，因为那只是人生的一段路程，只要懂得如何去从中学习，
你，才会成长。

explain or not

if somebody mis-understood you, would you explain?
before this, my answer is yes.
but now, my answer is no.
when somebody have such thinking, it is very hard (but possible) to turn them.
imagine...
you are doing something based on your judgement at time t1, your context is c1.
but when somebody else come and look at it, their time is t2, and their context is c2. certainly, t1 != t2 and c1 != c2. At this point, we can't say that either c1 or c2 is good or bad.
In short, in different timeframe and context, a thing will have very much different feel towards us. This, direct or indirectly, will affect how we look at them. In history, these things always happen. The historical ppl die already, so they can't explain. But who is going to explain or judge?? today living ppl. but all of them come out with different conclusion, that have very different similarity.

important year in my past 24

in year 2005, i had underwent a lot of different things..
it is not correct to categorize them as good or bad stuff..
but in my view, all those things brought me a lot of changes... inside my soul..
as what i mentioned before, this is the road i chose to take.
i will value them forever, b'coz they will be part of my life...

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads onto way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence;
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Robert Frost [1916]